Where is the hickey?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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