Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I would ride that face into the sunset
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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