we're blogging at a bar
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
