I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
