He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
