no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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