I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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