I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
