Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
