I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
