I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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