I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
