Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
