i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
