Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
