I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
