Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
They are going to name an STD after you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
