I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
