I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
