I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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