I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
