sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize