he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
