SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
