and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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