chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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