i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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