My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
