Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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