i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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