I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
