is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
