they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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