and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
