Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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