I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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