he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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