there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
