Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
