The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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