I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
