She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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