im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize