We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
