Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
