I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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