I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We need a shit load of segways right now
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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