apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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