You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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