It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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