covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
