Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
