In America we eat man semen.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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