i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
