Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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