I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
