Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
