Will you blow on my dice?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
PANTIES FOUND
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
