if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
