We won't sleep together?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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