Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
